YUMINNNN

You've been claiming that you care, that you never want to lose our friendship. But you're making me doubt your words. Have your reply gone to the wrong number? Or had my msg not reach you? Or have you just miraculously disappeared?
How long has this been going on my dear anthea? You know i love you a lot. Our friendship for FOUR YEARS has been strong. We know it.

My words : "I don't give a shit/damn/hoot about our friendship", "It's not as strong as mine &my sister's."
Do you believe them? I know it came out of my mouth, the mouth that streamed of saliva that contained sarcasm, pain, hurt et cetra.
But.. you should know how it is.

You know, stella said she admired our friendship. Despite the breakdowns, the arguments &the silly disagreements, it has been strong. What now? Just because of some stupid guy?
You said it's not worth it, dear. You said it so. You said you could even break up with him for me. I dunno if you did mean that. I don't want to know. All i know is that, I dont want this friendship to go to waste.
I don't want us to be like this, anthea. I really don't want this to happen.

All the tears, were shed for a reason, weren't they? &yet right now, I am crying for this friendship, this oh-so-special-&-important friendship. I am still crying. I have constantly been crying for us. For the hurt i feel. For the hurt i've inflicted on you. I'm sorry, maybe i've just been a bad friend.


Even if this was meant to be, I WANT TO CHANGE IT DAMMIT!

I know, it was silly of me. It was plain silly of me to have been so one-sided all these while. Why? Because that's just me. Isn't it? You know me this way, you may have even been this way together with me. We bitched, we gossipped, we made jokes outta the slightest thing.

I said you were my best friend. I didnt have best friends in a long time (yes this may sound pathetic but whatever). You're as important as bindy, you know that don't you?
She's my best friend, too. So are you. It's never easy to be stupid saying I Have Ten Best Friends.

I HAVE TWO!!!!!!!!! AND THAT IS YOU! YOU &BINDY!
YOU, ANTHEA ZHOU LI YI.

The pain..


Maybe I'm just being plain silly. It just sucks. I don't want to be crying no more. No more, ke yi ma?


I want it all back, please. I don't care if i sound desperate. I want our heart-to-heart talks sessions back. I want the confiding-in-you sessions back, too. Please i am breaking over here.


Call me a coward, but i'm currently going offline before you come on.
Yes i am fucking avoiding this. I dunno. I'm confused. I'm hurt.
I'm broken.

Healed, but fucking broken, yet again.

posted by yumin :D @ 10:12 PM